• Posted by: Sanjeev
• 04 Sep, 2019

11 Subtle Signs Your Partner is Cheating, according to Detectives

Infidelity is a different experience for both partners. While the cheating partner is guilty but ecstatic; the suspecting partner is both paranoid and hurt. Cheating is considered the greatest betrayal in relationships. And with hookup sites, cybersex, digital porn, we are at a tipping point. Seven out of 10 women in India cheat on their husbands according to a survey by an extra-marital dating app Gleeden. Whereas 75 percent of men have at least cheated once in their married life. But a phenomenon like adultery happens for different reasons. It is not always the same in every relationship.

The showing signs speak about a lot of underlying reasons as to why your spouse is cheating on you. They may be bored, mad at you, or don’t feel the same way about you anymore — every cheater’s motive is different. But their intent would be revealed with every move. However, there are no surefire signs of cheating that can keep you alarmed at all times. But with the help of our investigative experts at DDS Detective Agency, we are here to provide you with 11 subtle signs your partner may be cheating on you.

1.    A change in the schedule: First things first, you are living with this person. You know it better than anyone else how they usually spend their entire day. Even a slight change in their schedule is noticeable. But when these changes become preferences, and those preferences quickly become habits, it is time for you to dig some new facts. Suddenly they are ready to skip a PTA meeting over this newfound priority. With a new love interest, people often temporarily cut off or avoid others. It is pretty alarming to experience this change in them. But go figure it out, do not presume but ensure that you know what they are up to.

2.      Blame Game: A cheating partner is aware of what they are doing to you. But before guilt swallows them up, they begin shifting blame to you. In order to get rid of the regrets, they think or say that it is you who is not playing your part in the relationship properly. Make a note of this because this is a defence mechanism. They are shielding themselves and their own slip-ups by finding faults in you. They may also resort to accusing you of cheating on them. This is a dealbreaker, the right decision after you think your partner is cheating is to talk to them first. And not to go behind their back and cheat on them too. Projection is an easy way out to justify your wrongs but it is only a sly psychological trick.

3.       Behavioural Changes: Your partner is quick to avoid certain subjects, and you cannot get them to talk to you. They may stop you from speaking, suddenly walk out of the room or say that you are overreacting. All of this, including, a sudden decline in commitment is a sign. They don’t really know where you both are headed in your relationship, and it is just as fruitless when you ask them.

4.      A change in your partner’s grooming habits: Is your partner suddenly dressing up and it is clearly not for you? New haircut, new clothes, and new impressions are cooking and it is only when they are going out. But this is rather arguable. You never know for sure, because it can only just be an important meeting. You have to, however, notice that they are making changes in their taste. It is more like they are adapting to what this new person likes.

5.      Attitude changes: Low self-esteem, bouts of negativity and a new outlook are some of the attitude changes you might notice in them. They are either suddenly speaking lowly about themselves or being cruel for no valid reason. In such a situation, ask the reasons for the same. If they do not get to the point and keep circling back to the pessimism, it means they want to end it without feeling guilty.

6.      Less, or more, or different sex in your relationship: Your physical relationship has altered significantly. They are either completely passive or bring new things to the bed. It feels off in a certain way and you know it. This is a definite sign of an affair. You must ask them directly. Do it in a way that fills the communication gaps and not offhandedly starts by accusing them.  

7.      Unexplained expenses: Changes in bank accounts, retirement accounts, investment accounts that were not discussed between the two of you. These bills are usually liquor, hotel bookings, gifts or dinners. If you know just this much, it is easy to figure out the direction it is pointing in. It may break your heart, but this should be confirmed before it consumes you.

8.      Changes in the use of social media: Is your partner uploading pictures on Instagram and putting sincere efforts into it? Is someone new commenting? Or worse, it is someone they are constantly texting now. They are smiling in a hidden way while looking at their phone and you know it is not Internet memes. This potentially means that they may be in a clandestine relationship with someone on social media. What else can it mean?

9.  No Public Display of Affection: This is the much-feared loss of “that spark” between you two. They do not talk about you in front of their friends, they don’t compliment you and they do not make any affectionate move towards you any longer. It may look like they are taking you for granted, but can also mean that they have somebody new on their mind.

10.  Overcompensation from his friends: All secrets are shared. A cheating partner cannot get away without confiding in about their affair to at least someone. This person or people are probably their friends. With such a secret on their shoulders, they might come to you and try to be sweeter than usual. They could also come to visit you to distract you while your partner is out cheating on you. Note the mannerisms, for they could say a lot.

11.  Absence of emotional intimacy: The ultimate dealbreaker of a relationship: the loss of emotional intimacy. If you both have consciously lost track of each other’s emotions, you might as well end it. But it is a one-way street and your partner cannot read your mind or even your body language, and almost doesn’t even try to, be sure that it is something very alarming. A relationship is built on certain promises and emotions are exchanged. When this stops, it is nothing but a chase at a dead-end street.

If you still are not sure if your partner or is not cheating you, the biggest sign is that you already suspect that you’re the victim of infidelity, or your relationship feels so hopeless to you. As we mentioned, the signs appear different in every romantic relationship, but there are some common links that join the dots. Remember, if your intuition tells you that your partner is cheating, it should be right. That said, you may want to gather other evidence before you confront your significant other about their behaviour. You can be helped in gathering the information that affirms your fears by a highly trustworthy and top detective agency in Delhi, DDS Detectives. We do Post Matrimonial Investigation, loyalty tests, and post-matrimonial checks as well.

If you want to read about how to deal with the aftermath of adultery, click here.